xEDITING HAS BEEN INCLUDED, PLEASE CHECK BOTTOM OF THIS ENTRY!!!!!!!!x
To All Who Actually Pay Attention

This IS NOT a cheaper version of a certain Ms. Spears-Alexander-Ferderline So Called Letter Of Truth. Although, If You Ask Me, Nothing could be as cheap or tacky as her supposed "confession". Today marks the end of an era, and it hasn't been an easy decision for me. I have spent the past hour or so deleting everything from my euph0r1a account and will soon move onto deleting everything from my two other accounts. And this entry is simply to explain why.

Today marks the day of a new "crossing over" for me. It has been hard because this has been a place i have dumped alot of my thoughts and things i have been doing in my spare time. But as i was thinking about it today, it's time i grew up to become the person I want to be.

Deviant art was, it was more of a phase, it wasn't something i took very seriously. It was something where i could be who everyone else wanted me to be aswell as a place where i could be what i thought i wanted to be, but the truth is, that none of this, is really me. I've been wearing a mask the past couple of months and now it's time that i stop trying to impress everyone else and just be myself. The truth is, yes, i can be depressed, i can feel like the world is against me, i can just hate it all. But everyone has their moments. I'm not some gothic, wiccan, punk, bisexual, manic depressed hooker. Those were all masks, those weren't me.

I'm calling this my crossing over because, its me turning into the pre-adult self. I have alot of respect for most of the artists on deviant art. I wont send shout-outs to everyone, but to robin, your a great artist, you have an amazing talent, people should be seeing your work one way or another and one day i hope to see your work world wide, all over the t.v and in famous places and to bianca, you're a great poet you should keep it up and there are a number of photographers i would like to shout out to, but this is getting off my point.

I am a free spirit, i was born a free spirit, i will die a free spirit. I believe in a heaven, I believe in a hell, i believe there are people watching over me and protecting me. But all the other stuff, everything i have ever said, it's not be anymore. I am a happy go-lucky, blonde hair, blue eyed 17 year old, obsessed with purple and music. People can accept that or not, but i'm not prepared to be something i'm not. Life gets me down, i get depressed, i punch walls, i break glass, i cry, i bleed, i scream, its human life, no-one expects me to be happy all the time. I was trying to impress other people too much that i forgot everything that was real to me, so this is just a glimpse into why i have decided to delete...everything, not just d.a, but all public profiles that have been a phase are now deleted, not to mention half my room has been thrown in the bin.

And i know, i can't delete everything of my past. I'll still be the recovering alcoholic. I still be the girl who slept with too many guys. I'm still the one who tried to kill herself and I'll still be living in a hell hole. But for all these years i've been walking around saying "i will find myself, i will become who i'm meant to be"..but i realise now, i can't do that when i'm so obsessed with being stuck in the past. I'm moving on, i'm growing up. Accept it or not, thats your decision.

There may be a day where i return to d.a to start a new account strictly to show off my photography, But right now, I need to focus on whats important to me and stop being stuck infront of the computer.

I can't be depressed anymore, I cant force myself to be depressed anymore. People will just have to be my friend because of who i am NOW, not who they want me to be.

Thanks

Kerri

[Yes One and All, I am back for a brief moment to pass on the good news, from now on i will be having an account on bloop, for anyone who wants to stay tuned for info on my life, if not, oh well, so for all you people who want to see some diary entries and some art go to: Okay Don't Go To The Link I originally had posted, if you want it, email me for it.
Yes there will be photos and art work there, randomly, but majority will be journal entries]